Happy Mother’s Day!
I see you beautiful mother
It’s early in the morning where I am and I just made my cup of coffee and sat down to write. My phone has started buzzing with Happy Mother’s Day notifications, mostly from work colleagues, but I know my siblings will also start sending messages or maybe call later on.
I won’t have the privilege to speak to my mother today, she died 4 years ago. I am not sad because I was an adult already with my own kids when she died. We had a reasonably good relationship, I don’t think there is anything I regret. She did the best she could with the knowledge and resources she had available at the time. I am one of 5 siblings.
I have 2 boys and yes, it was a different time back then, but it takes all my efforts (and my husband’s too) to keep things afloat and make sure these boys turn into the best versions of themselves.
I am thinking about the men and women, boys and girls out there for whom today may not be a great day. Either because of the troubled relationship they have or had with their mother. A mother who may be abandoned by an adult child, especially when on social media you will be bombarded with pictures of happy Mother’s Day lunches and events.
The birth rate is plummeting all over the world and we might be surprised that well-educated and well-off women are choosing not to have children. It has become a conscious decision, rather than one imposed on you by an outdated societal norm.
Part of the reservations may be what someone experienced themselves growing up. It’s not easy, but with all the resources and economic development, it is not getting easier. Down to the core, it is hard work. Anybody who says it isn’t has not walked the whole 9 yards.
I was listening to a podcast on Modern Wisdom with Connor Beaton about attachment styles and how to fix them and it was surprising how all these complex issues manifest themselves in early childhood with direct consequence to the relationship with the primary caregiver, mostly the mother. If I had known this before, I might have thought twice about having kids. It’s a huge responsibility. And money can’t fix it.
I am from Africa and my heart bleeds when I hear of the high infant mortality rate and all the associated complications for the mother, that can be so easily prevented with proper healthcare. Maybe Africans should not have that many children, I have heard this before too. Well, maybe we’ll just have a world full of pensioners and nobody to do the work. I digress.
For all the mothers out there, Happy Mother’s Day. I hope you get spoiled and get to eat lots of cake!
During the pandemic, my boys were much younger and I wrote a short book offering encouragement, more for myself than anything. You can download your free copy here: You Can Do It Mamma
I wish you a great day and would love to hear from you.
Blessings!
